Sergius Gustaf

Super short story #1

“Semuanya jadi delapan ribu, mba”, kata lelaki itu sembari memasukkan dua botol air mineral ukuran 1.5 liter, tiga coklat batangan, dan satu buah es krim. Lelaki itu sengaja menjual semua barang di toko kecil miliknya dengan harga yang sangat murah. “Tidak apa-apa aku tidak menjadi orang kaya, yang penting aku tetap bisa menjual barang-barang ini setiap hari.” gumamnya sambil merapikan tumpukan snack. “Karena itulah caraku membantu perekonomian dunia.”

dikutip dari halaman 47 sebuah novel berjudul “Penjaga Toko Kelontong Kecil yang Menyelamatkan Perdana Menteri Inggris”

Girl in The Night – 2

Four days after I came back from community service, I went to this kinda festive gig with my friends. The last band had not finished yet, but we decided to get out of the crowd. I took out a cigarette and lit it. Menthol taste crawled through my lungs, and exhaled a brisk sense of air through my nostrils. I know the menthol taste was somehow contradicted the cold air at this very night, but it still felt good.

There, I saw you. Standing about five meters in front of me, talking to your friend, who was also my friend.

Pink lips, brown-frame glasses, slightly oversized white shirt, blue ripped jeans – no, not that extreme ripped jeans, white vans, and red cap. I must say, that red cap looked a lil bit off, but you looked peculiarly beautiful in that outfit.

“hey, I don’t know you guys are here as well”
“oh right, this is my friend”

“oh.. hi..”

I shook your hand. And when my eyes met yours, I get this overwhelming emotion. I hardly remember that I froze for like 2 seconds. That was super awkward. Like really, really awkward.

We both smiled, and there, we talked. She told me how crowded it was in the venue, she can barely enjoyed the gig. I totally agree with her. She really likes music; from Britpop like The Beatles, Blur, Arctic Monkeys, Indonesian 20’s pop like Naif, Peterpan, Dewa 19, some Jazz such Louis Armstrong, and John Coltrane, to nowadays indie songs like Boy Pablo, Lauv, and Mac Ayres. We once argue about which one is the better singer: Once or Ari Lasso. A second-year dental student with a very good taste in music, and slightly interested in philosophical conversation. I was really impressed by just talking to her. I mean, who would have thought?


naik vespa keliling kota
sampai binaria
hatiku jadi gembira

“I always like this song, you know. Every time I heard this song, my mind will visualize a perfect image of a super calm afternoon.”

“let me guess, you once experienced a memorable story with your loved one while listening to this song somewhere, right?”

“I’m not saying yes about it, but how can you come out with that question? You barely know me.”

“I believe that everyone always has a particular song that reminds them of some memory. Let it be sweet, bitter, or happy memory.”

“Well aren’t you just defining yourself? If that romantic sentiments about songs is yours, then so be it”. She said with a smile, while tied her hair up.

I smiled. She was an intelligent girl with a hint of beauty that came from her presence.

...

“jeeezz, what happened to you, bud?”

I turned my head as I heard one of my friends said that. There, I saw my friend (the other one) fell to the ground. Well, he was drunk. That explained why he fell as he tried to stand up.

“Aren’t you supposed to look after him?”

“Goddamn! he’s such pain the ass. I don’t know why he drank so much Arak before we went here.”

I helped him up so he could stand properly.

“He looks so much worse than I thought. I think you need to take care of him.”

“I’m sorry that this thing happen. I definitely need to take him home now.”

“Ah it’s okay, I pretty much understand about the bro code things.”

We both smile. Well she is really something.

“Well, It’s nice to talk to you. Until we meet again.”

“Yea, I think we should meet again someday.”

...

It’s our fifth date, nothing special. Just casually watch a movie, some Chatime, bookstore, some burgers and fries, and city park (which is actually alun-alun, damn this city doesn’t have a proper park!).

Right after our first meeting that night, I’m the one who texted you first. Since then, we talk a lot over text, and we become closer and closer. I still giggled when I remember how this all started.

After we stroll around alun-alun, we pick a nice place just to sit and enjoy the vibes. The weather, the people, the air. It is really a nice afternoon, indeed.

“You know, it’s always nice to have someone I can rely on and talk about everything. Someone that always gonna be there when I’m feeling down.”

She smile, and slowly hold my hand.

“Thank you”.

Babe, lets destroy this city tonight, shall we?

Let me begin with bombing the city landmark, specifically city landmark. You said you really hate those people who over-romanticize this city. “Every city in this country have their own characteristics, just stop over-romanticize this particular city!!”. I clearly remember how angry you were when you said that. I can’t stand looking at you when you are mad at those imbecile domestics tourists. Now, those imbeciles will never go to this city again. I promise you.

Then, we’ll set ten bombs. We’ll plant five bombs in the central police station through the back door. And we’ll plant the other five randomly around the building within a radius of 100 meters. if we want to spread terror among the civilian, first we must make them think that no one could protect them, right? And I think bombing the police station is a fuckin’ great idea.

Next spot: religious sites.

It’s your favorite. No. OUR favorite.

What we both like is arguing and agreeing at the same time that religions are total bullshit. They’re just made-up concepts by humans just to keep human beings safe, and feel enlightened. A tool that can unify human beings across the planet. And the Almighty God is just an embodiment of their fear, loss, regret, anger, basically everything that cannot be perceived by human brain.

I think that’s enough. The landmark, police station, religious places. But, if you want to add someplace to destroy, or somebody to kill, I’ll take you there so that we can do it together.

After we’ve done all of those things, we’ll run away from this city. Far, far away to the north. Or east. Or west. Whatever you want to go. We will stop at pathetic-boring little town. You can be together with me anywhere you want, at anytime you want. Kissing under the stars, sleeping on my chest hearing the sea waves hitting the shores, hugging each other until we feel completely whole. Whatever you want, just name it.

Disobeying the Rules Creating Order from Chaos

Universe works based on physical law. There’s one law that’s so powerful it cannot be defied by anything in the universe.

The second law of thermodynamics states that the total entropy can never decrease over time for an isolated system.

The universe we are living in is a super massive isolated system. Let’s say there is nothing outside of our universe, so there is no energy and/or matter that can pass through our universe from outside since there is nothing outside of our universe. Thus make our universe an isolated system. I can say, as time goes by, everything inside the universe tend to increase their entropy level until they reach equilibrium.

If the second law of thermodynamics is so powerful it rules how all maters in the universe behave, How do living organism keep their entropy low, without violating the second law of thermodynamics?

For your information, we, humans, and the other living organisms always keep our entropy as low as possible (every living organism has different optimum entropy level). We do this to maintain our “life”.

Do you realize that our body has a love and hate relationship with our surrounding? Sometimes we do good by helping each other, but most of the time, our surrounding are trying to make us reach the equilibrium state with our surrounding. This equilibrium state (although it sounds so cool) means disintegration or we can call it death or vanish.

For many people, maybe they visualize equilibrium state as an order, arrangement, tidiness neatness; but it’s not. Equilibrium state means more disorder, or I could say Chaotic. Low entropy state means highly ordered, high entropy state means high disorder, or chaotic. Again, so, how can “life” maintain such low entropy to keep them alive? How can “life” creating Order out of this Chaotic universe?

There are terms called Global system and local system or in this analogy, I will use the terms: Global entropy and Local entropy. Our super massive universe is analogue to Global system/entropy, and “life” or we, humans are analogue to Local system/entropy. The entropy level of the global system will always increase till it reach the maximum level or equilibrium level over time, because it is an isolated system. But we, humans, the local systems ARE NOT isolated systems.

Life or we humans or I’ll make it simpler, our body is not an isolated system even closed system. Mass and energy transfer happens through our body with it’s surrounding. There are reactions happening inside of our body that keep its entropy level low. All life on earth capture energy from the sun. Plants creating their own food using solar energy to keep them alive. We humans eat plants also to keep us alive. And then after some period of time, living organism dies because it cannot sustain itself. What actually happens from this journey is the sun was releasing it’s energy to earth and also raising the global entropy, then the earth capture the energy, consume it to create order, then after some period of time, the living organism will create chaos (well, because they die).

I’ll quote a sentence from the book:

“life doesn’t really create order from nowhere. Life captures order, ultimately from the sun.”


- Philip Nelson, 2002

So, life is basically creating order from chaos, then turn it back into chaos.


Footnote: Well, this is actually an answer for my Biophysics assignments last semester. I just wanna write it down again using daily life references and make it simpler. The original document was about 5 pages long.

About my biophysics assignment, there are 6 questions that need to be answered by the students each week. The questions are more about cosmic-astronomical-little bit of biology and physics- related questions. But it’s fun tho. I really enjoyed those 6 weeks in last semester answering the questions.

This entry is my answer for question numero dos: How do living organism keep their entropy low, without violating the second law of thermodynamics?

Can love be just love without drama and commitments?

tl;dr

Yes it can. Just like what I did.

But there’s a catch

I remember the first time you asked me this question. It was July 25th, at the beach somewhere around Kertasari. We both were enjoying sunset that afternoon.

I asked you to accompany me go to kertasari, because I wanna take a timelapse video of sunset. I strongly believe you knew it was a set up so I could spend time with you and talk, just you and me. And I strongly believed that you’ve known that I do like you (at that time).

We talked about anything that cross our mind. Our past, how we see the world, our principles, yada yada yada. And out of nowhere you suddenly asked me:

Can love be just love without drama and commitments?

I froze for a little while, trying to process your question. My head made a quick math back there by trying to interpolate the relation between your question and my expectations. My head gave me bad result. So I had to answer it in most convenient way so I can change your perspective, and make my equation turns in a good result.

I said:

You know, It’s so hard to built and maintain a relationship without commitments. When you decide to built a -romantic- relationship with someone, you need to trust each other, and commit to the relationship no matter what. Because, when someone decide to be in a kinda serious relationship, they have to think “it’s enough about me, now I have to love and support my partner”. When you still carry your big ego to the relationship, the relationship itself can barely survive. This two persons need to compromise at anything that comes between them.

You looked confused and slightly disagree to my answer. You said it’s hard to love other person when all you think of is yourself. From your responses, I slightly knew your thoughts. Your mom said, the first five year of marriage is pure love, the next years is just compromise. You strongly believe that human being can’t bear loving only one particular person forever.

there are differences between being in love and became a lover

I think you’re still confusing between being in love and became a lover. Being in love means one way street. It’s only your feelings you projected to someone you love. You don’t care whether the other person love you back or not. Because you’re in love with this person, and you’ll do anything it takes to make him/her happy. That’s it. You don’t expect anything for this particular person, because you just love him/her. If you start to expect something to him/her, it’s your ego who’s talking. True love is more than that. Know the difference.

I strongly believe if two persons just wanna love each other without a commitment, there will be a time (or two) when they mad at each other, and then they stop caring each other. When two persons love each other, they usually wanna be together. Because it’s said that being with him/her is so much better than not being with him/her.

Became a lover means, two human being have decided to commit to a relationship (or committed to be together), and to love each other. Many people say maintaining the relationship is kinda hard, because dealing with humans mean dealing with their ego. Each person has their own ego, and we can’t compare one to another. To be together for some period of time (because I know forever is such a loooong time), they need to compromise to each other. Looking for the middle ground for every problems they faced, so they can be together as long as possible.

There will always be drama in every relationship. You just can’t avoid it. The battle between two persons’ ego will always creating drama. But you two can always try to find the solution for every problem you faced. And once you two have found the middle ground, it’ll become easier.

Her Time

hertime1

She’s the physical embodiment of time that rule the universe.

She can be as fast as the speed of light
when it comes to the talks we have
under an umbrella till 3 a.m.

She can be as long as forever
when it comes to living
and enjoying this fling
day by day
knowing it’ll never last.

And everyday;

I don’t know whether I want to be trapped in her forever
or disappear as fast as a blink of her soothing eyes.

Girl in The Night

I know I don’t write some cheesy long ass paragraph for a special person, but when I do, I write about you. So here you go...

First, I think you are such a cute, beautiful, fun, and full of energy, like you can always talk for two hours straight while strolling around town without ever complain how tiring it was.

Did I mention that your smile looks so cute? Your cheek slightly turns red as you smile, and that’s hella cute. Ah, also your pink lips fit you really fine. And did I tell you that you are so weird? Yes you are, you are so weird and that’s adorable.

The way you walk, talk, and see things. The way you yell adorably over a little discomfort like feeling hungry or hot weather never fails to make me smile. I think anybody would be very lucky to have you.

I never put my 100% on someone, but for you, I can make an exception. Of course I’ve prepared some actions to prevent a broken heart. Well, yeah just in case. Like,

Learn how to play a piano, make a lot of money out of it, then build a jazz music bar like Seb’s so I can play some cool jazz music and feeling sad but no one knows. Oooorrr I become an astronaut, go to the outer space and let the alien eat my heart so I won’t feel any pain. Just kidding, I’m not doing the second option.

My dear girl in the night, I don’t know what’s your trauma, or what terrible heartbreak you went through. No, I will not try to fix you just like Chris Martin said. But hang in there, I got you, I will hold you tight while you fix yourself until you feel completely whole.


So, my dear girl in the night, you want the stars? Watch me fly and grab some!

Loneliness Through Invisible Windows

Nighthawks by Edward Hopper

Nighthawks by Edward Hopper (1942) | The Art Institute of Chicago

If I have to name my favorite painter, it would be Edward Hopper. I still remember it was mid June 2016, the first time I saw one of his paintings. I was scrolling through social media and I stumbled upon “Nighthawks”, one of the best paintings I’ve ever seen. I never felt such a solidarity in loneliness as when I looked at that painting. It fills me with a sort of comfortable melancholy.

In the “Nighthawks” you’ll see a diner in the middle of the night with only four patrons in it. Three customers, and one employee. We can see that the patrons are separated from each other. The guy on the left are sitting alone, isolating himself from the others. The man and woman in the middle seem to know each other. But they could also be stranger judging by their face and emotion. The most interesting thing about the nighthawks is it makes the viewer feels trapped outside. Although we can clearly see inside the diner, the viewers are isolated from the patrons inside the diner. We can only see the diner from across the street. We can’t experience what happened inside the diner.

For me, his paintings evoke the same kind of feeling and memories, it is loneliness. If we look at his arts, nearly all of them are about loneliness, alienation, voyeurism and contemplation. Hopper’s character often depicted as lonely, and maybe a little bored. For example the men and women in Sunday (1926), The Automat (1927), Eleven AM (1926), Morning Sun (1952), Gas (1940), and Office at Night (1940) all have the same vibes. Despite their “stage” is filled with bright and warm light they seems kinda lonely and alienated.

The vibes that I get from Hopper painting’s remind me of the modern world we live in today. The perks of living in the world with advance communication technology is that we can connect with so many people from across the globe. Through a technology called social media, we can see other people’s activity in real time. What are they doing. What did they do yesterday. What music did they listen to. What are their favorite movies, what do they have for dinner and so on and so fort.

Our personal life that was previously tightly closed can now be easily seen by others without any hindrance. Just like watching a person inside his house through a large transparent window. Their life/activity/privacy can be easily penetrated using Apps in our smartphone. If we can see other’s easily, it means they also can see us.

In some of Hopper’s works, it seems like he made the windows vanished or invisible. He makes us see the character clearly. We can see what the characters are doing and what kind of emotion shows on their faces. And the idea that we can see other’s life clearly (and vice versa), makes us somehow vulnerable.

Social media creates an illusion that it seems like we already know someone else behind the our smartphone screen, even though there is no deeper relationship. We only know the name, face, and what that person is doing. Not only through social media, life in densely populated urban areas can also evoke the feeling of loneliness.

Urban loneliness: How crowded and yet isolated life could be in the city.

No mater how many people surround you if you can’t share deeper connections with them you’ll feel lonely. Feeling lonely when you are alone is normal. But feeling lonely when you surrounded by people is extremely discomforting.

“Nighthawks” makes me feel vulnerable yet cozy at the same time. Because somehow I feel familiar with the situation. I often find myself sitting in a crowded café holding my cup of cappuccino. No books, no laptop, just me drinking my warm cappuccino and enjoying the crowded café atmosphere. Strangely, even in that crowded café somewhat I feel lonely.

In my defense, I know I’m not the only one who happened to experience it. I know many of us also have experienced it. And you know what? It is neither strange nor shameful for experiencing loneliness. Instead of escaping the loneliness, I think we should embrace it. Because we all know too well it also happens to everybody else.

We all are sharing a drink we call loneliness, and it’s better than drinking it alone.

Prau dalam empat babak

[ ACT 1 ]

Sebenarnya saya mengusulkan agar kita berempat mendaki melalui jalur Patak Banteng seperti 2 pendakian saya sebelumnya. Dipo sependapat dengan saya, tapi Hanif tidak. Si kampret ini memilih untuk mendaki lewat jalur Dieng, dengan dalih Basecampnya bagus, pemandangannya keren, dan jalur yang tidak terlalu menanjak. Padahal Hanif belum pernah mendaki lewat jalur Dieng. Sedangkan Atiem memilih untuk ngikut aja. Debat kusir terjadi. Demi melindungi harkat dan martabat sebagai lelaki yang selalu memegang ucapannya, saya tetap memilih untuk melalui jalur Patak Banteng. Sampai pada suatu saat, akhirnya saya mengalah untuk mengikuti pendapat Hanif. Saya sadar pertemanan lebih penting daripada jalur pendakian. Lagi pula Hanif punya kuasa atas logistik satu tim.

Sekitar pukul 15.00, kita berenam mulai mendaki melalui jalur Dieng, dengan berbekal doa dan hasrat untuk berfoto di puncak.

[ ACT 2 ]

Saya capek, Atiem nafasnya gak nyampe, Dipo masih tenang di belakang, Nefrit Adi kehausan, Hanif masih aja nyanyi.

45 menit pertama saya masih memimpin tim diikuti Atiem, Hanif, Dipo, Adi dan Nefrit. Tapi di 30 menit berikutnya Hanif yang jauh lebih lama tidak mendaki malah ngebut dan memimpin tim. Padahal pace mendaki saya terbilang cepat. Sepanjang jalan dia dengerin lagu sambil nyanyi tanpa keliatan capek. Saya yang memang suka di urutan depan saat mendaki, mencoba ngebut lagi walau sudah ngos-ngosan.

Demi menjaga harkat dan martabat saya yang dikenal di kalangan teman-teman Wanalana sebagai pendaki tangguh, selepas area Akar Cinta, saya ngebut untuk memimpin tim sampai puncak.

[ ACT 3 ]

Mendekati puncak, pemandangan yang disuguhkan ternyata bagus banget. Jauh lebih bagus daripada jalur Patak Banteng. Demi menjaga harkat dan martabat sebagai lelaki yang jujur dan tidak suka berbohong, akhirnya saya mengaku kepada Hanif. Saya mengakui kalau mendaki melalui jalur Dieng ternyata pilihan dan keputusan yang sangat tepat. Trek tidak terlalu menanjak, pemandangan yang disuguhkan juga oke banget.

Sesaat setelah itu, perilaku Hanif berubah menjadi sedikit jumawa, dan kerap kali mengejek saya karena sempat ngotot tidak setuju dengan pilihannya. Biasa aja kali!

[ ACT 4 ]

Secangkir coklat panas yang dinikmati di luar tenda, dengan langit penuh bintang, diisi dengan percakapan-percakapan sampai larut malam.

Mari Bercerita

Aku melirik jam tangan ku. Pukul 20.11, dan kau masih belum muncul. Aku menyeruput kopi yang sudah dari tadi menemaniku duduk menunggumu. Sedikit bosan, aku mengeluarkan sebatang rokok. Sial, Ini rokok terakhir!

Suasana café ramai, seperti biasanya. Maklum, Legend memang sudah jadi langganan orang-orang yang ingin menikmati makanan di luar rumah, ataupun untuk sekedar bertemu dengan teman-teman. Ada lima orang, sepertinya anak SMA di meja sebelah. Mereka sibuk bercerita, berfoto, dan bermain handphone mereka.

8 menit kemudian kamu datang, diantar seorang teman perempuan yang aku sudah kenal, rini namanya. Mata kita bertemu sebentar, kau menutup pintu mobil, dan langsung berjalan mendekati meja ini dengan langkah dipercepat.

“Kok kamu masih ngerokok sih, kan kamu udah janji ga mau ngerokok lagi!”

“Ya gimana lagi, aku bosen di sini. Lagian ini rokok terakhir, sayang kalo dibuang gitu aja.”

Sial! Aku lupa kalau aku pernah janji untuk tidak merokok lagi. Melihatmu semakin cemberut, aku langsung mematikan rokok yang sudah setengah habis dan langsung meminta maaf. Kamu meletakkan tas di meja, duduk, lalu memanggil pelayan untuk memesan makanan untuk kita berdua.

Menunggu pesanan kita datang, kau mulai bercerita tentang kegiatanmu hari ini. Dimulai dari tadi pagi, kamu menemani mama mu jogging di GSP, siangnya kamu ke kampus untuk hadir di gathering panitia, dan sorenya kamu menemani temanmu si Rini untuk berbelanja di Hartono Mall. Lalu kau menanyakan apa yang aku lakukan seharian ini. Sedikit kebingungan mau jawab apa, karena, yaaah, hari ini kegiatanku cuma baca buku dan mengerjakan laporan praktikum. Jujur saja, dari tadi aku tidak terlalu fokus pada ceritamu. Pandanganku tidak bisa lepas dari bibir merahmu, dan matamu yang indah itu.

Percakapan terhenti saat pesanan kita datang. Aku memesan onion rings dan lemon tea, sedangkan kamu memesan sandwich dan lychee iced tea. Entah bagaimana, percakapan mulai kembali dengan topik pembicaraan makanan italia dan perancis. Kau berargumen bahwa makanan perancis lebih kaya rasa, dan lebih elegan penyajiannya. Sedangkan aku tetap bertahan pada makanan italia, dengan alasan semua orang suka pizza dan spageti. Sebenarnya sedikit konyol berargumen mengenai hal-hal yang kita berdua belum mengerti sepenuhnya. Tapi yasudahlah. Sembari mengobrol, aku meminta sepotong sandwich dan menyeruput lychee iced tea milikmu, dan kau pun begitu. Bahkan kau memakan banyak onion ring milikku.

Sandwich dan onion ring sudah habis. Minuman kita tinggal setengah gelas. Kita berdua sama-sama bingung ingin memulai pembicaraan apa lagi. Dalam kondisi mati gaya seperti ini, seperti biasa, kamu mengeluarkan handphone mu dan mulai berselancar indah di sana. Aku? Aku yang tidak membawa handphone cuma bisa memperhatikan dirimu dari hadapanmu. Rambut digerai, bibir merah, sepasang mata dibalik kacamata frame bulat coklat, kemeja putih, dan jam tangan melingkar di tangan kiri.

Lemon tea ku sudah habis. Aku ingat kalau ada pameran lukisan di Sangkring art space yang sedikit jauh dari kota. Aku tawarkan ke kamu, kamu mengangguk tanda setuju. Langsung saja kita berdua menuju ke pameran tersebut. Letak art spacenya memang sedikit jauh dari pusat kota, tapi menjadi tempat yang sering digunakan sebagai pameran seni selain Taman Budaya.

Suasana pameran lumayan ramai. Aku selalu merasa aneh kalau berada di tempat ini. Banyak orang-orang yang menurutku berpakaian yang sangat terlihat kalau dia orang seni. Seperti potongan rambut yang sedikit tidak wajar, pakaian yang tabrak warna, dan pembawaan yang menurut aku aneh. Ada seorang lelaki yang menggunakan kaos pink ditutupi jaket denim, celana jeans di atas lutut, dan tote bag putih. Sangat beda denganku yang hanya memakai pakaian seperti manusia normal layaknya lelaki metroseksual lainnya.

Kita berdua berlalu dari satu lukisan ke lukisan berikutnya, sambil memegang tanganmu agar tidak terlepas di lautan manusia yang menghabiskan malam mereka dengan menikati karya seni. Apa yang terjadi di sana seperti perulangan saja. Kita berdua berdiri di hadapan lukisan besar, dengan warna pigura hitam yang sangat kontras dengan tembok putih; diam beberapa menit untuk menikmati lukisan; saling bertanya apa maksud dari lukisan tersebut; memberikan beberapa komentar; kemudian berlalu ke lukisan lain.

Pada lukisan ke-empat belas kau tampak serius dan berdiri lebih lama daripada di hadapan lukisan yang lain. Sebuah lukisan dengan visual seorang perempuan, dan dunia yang kita hidup yang dilukiskan dengan dramatis. Kau berdiri di sebelahku, seperti membeku, tetapi matamu menyapu lukisan di hadapanmu dari ujung ke ujung. Tiada bagian yang lupus dari pandanganmu. Aku tidak mau mengganggu mu. Yang aku lakukan hanya menatapmu, mengagumi setiap lekuk wajahmu.

Aku sangat hafal seperti apa dirimu waktu itu. Iris matamu yang berwarna hazelnut, rambutmu yang digerai sebahu, bibirmu yang merah muda itu. Dan kau mengenakan kemeja putih, sepatu vans berwarna maroon, tak lupa jam tangan alexandre christie dengan strap coklat. Entahlah, di mataku, kau sangat cantik malam itu.

Sepulang dari pameran, ketika aku mengarah ke rumahmu, kau menolak untuk cepat pulang, malah kau mengajak ke angkringan koboy, untuk membeli beberapa gorengan dan segelas teh hangat untuk menemani bercerita. Kau berkata kalau kau sudah memberi tahu orang tuamu untuk pulang telat. Aku menurut. 15 menit kemudian kita sudah duduk bersebelahan memandang jalan dengan segelas kopi dan segelas teh hangat, dan sepiring gorengan.

Kita bercerita banyak hal, dari negara mana yang paling aneh menurut kita masing-masing, mengapa gunung memiliki kesan bahwa dia gagah, cerita bencana merapi, dan gempa bantul, buku-buku yang akhir-akhir ini dibaca, komik indonesia yang mulai berkembang, film-film bioskop terbaru, sampai band lokal dan lagu-lagu mereka.

Kita berdua terlalu larut dalam cerita kita, sampai akhirnya kita sadar waktu sudah menunjukkan pukul setengah 1 malam. Gorengan sudah habis, begitu pula minuman di gelas kita. Kau sudah merasa mengantuk, sedangkan aku tidak. Efek kopi tadi sudah bekerja. Cukup bahaya kalau aku mengantuk di sepanjang jalan saat mengantarmu pulang.

Aku menyetir, kau duduk di sebelah dan langsung terlelap. Sampai di depan rumahmu, aku membangunkanmu pelan. Sebenarnya cukup susah juga membangunkanmu. Aku sampai harus menggoyangkan badanmu tiga kali baru kau mau bangun. Kuantar kau sampai depan pintu rumahmu, dan berpamitan pada ayahmu yang ternyata belum tidur, hanya untuk menunggumu. Sebelum pergi, kau mengatakan terimakasih untuk malam ini. Aku tersenyum, kau juga tersenyum. Di depan pintu rumah, aku mencium keningmu kemudian berlalu meninggalkan senyum lebar di wajahmu.