tl;dr

Yes it can. Just like what I did.

But there’s a catch

I remember the first time you asked me this question. It was July 25th, at the beach somewhere around Kertasari. We both were enjoying sunset that afternoon.

I asked you to accompany me go to kertasari, because I wanna take a timelapse video of sunset. I strongly believe you knew it was a set up so I could spend time with you and talk, just you and me. And I strongly believed that you’ve known that I do like you (at that time).

We talked about anything that cross our mind. Our past, how we see the world, our principles, yada yada yada. And out of nowhere you suddenly asked me:

Can love be just love without drama and commitments?

I froze for a little while, trying to process your question. My head made a quick math back there by trying to interpolate the relation between your question and my expectations. My head gave me bad result. So I had to answer it in most convenient way so I can change your perspective, and make my equation turns in a good result.

I said:

You know, It’s so hard to built and maintain a relationship without commitments. When you decide to built a -romantic- relationship with someone, you need to trust each other, and commit to the relationship no matter what. Because, when someone decide to be in a kinda serious relationship, they have to think “it’s enough about me, now I have to love and support my partner”. When you still carry your big ego to the relationship, the relationship itself can barely survive. This two persons need to compromise at anything that comes between them.

You looked confused and slightly disagree to my answer. You said it’s hard to love other person when all you think of is yourself. From your responses, I slightly knew your thoughts. Your mom said, the first five year of marriage is pure love, the next years is just compromise. You strongly believe that human being can’t bear loving only one particular person forever.

there are differences between being in love and became a lover

I think you’re still confusing between being in love and became a lover. Being in love means one way street. It’s only your feelings you projected to someone you love. You don’t care whether the other person love you back or not. Because you’re in love with this person, and you’ll do anything it takes to make him/her happy. That’s it. You don’t expect anything for this particular person, because you just love him/her. If you start to expect something to him/her, it’s your ego who’s talking. True love is more than that. Know the difference.

I strongly believe if two persons just wanna love each other without a commitment, there will be a time (or two) when they mad at each other, and then they stop caring each other. When two persons love each other, they usually wanna be together. Because it’s said that being with him/her is so much better than not being with him/her.

Became a lover means, two human being have decided to commit to a relationship (or committed to be together), and to love each other. Many people say maintaining the relationship is kinda hard, because dealing with humans mean dealing with their ego. Each person has their own ego, and we can’t compare one to another. To be together for some period of time (because I know forever is such a loooong time), they need to compromise to each other. Looking for the middle ground for every problems they faced, so they can be together as long as possible.

There will always be drama in every relationship. You just can’t avoid it. The battle between two persons’ ego will always creating drama. But you two can always try to find the solution for every problem you faced. And once you two have found the middle ground, it’ll become easier.